Dakota is Awesome

12.30.2010

2010-12-31T11:04:00.000-08:00

I must tell you all how well Dakota is doing in Public School at Lily B Clayton. Dakota rocks it in public school! She could care less about peer pressure and the other students have accepted her completely. I can't begin to tell you all how much a relief it is! I know Dakota will excel and that is a blessing! All credit to God!

12.28.2010

2010-12-28T17:47:00.000-08:00

We (AJ and I) have a little anxiety about traveling 8 hrs in a car; can I get an Amen? Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers for safe travels. We havn't vacationed in a long time and this trip is our chance to get a way. If coverage allows, I may blog from top of the mountain as we bring in the New Year!

12.22.2010

2010-12-22T17:37:00.000-08:00

Dakota is under the weather and has been fighting an upper respitory infection for some time. Please pray for her healing and to recover ASAP!

Amen,
Dad

12.21.2010

2010-12-21T20:40:00.000-08:00

Dakota was in a loving mood tonight and I had to stop washing the dishes so I could tuck her in.
Thank you Lord for giving us such a loving child. She is a blessing and we love her with all of our hearts.

12.13.2010

2010-12-13T22:15:00.000-08:00

We could tell Dakota had a hard day at school today. Her time at home was turbulent to say the least. Any how- another day and we move on expecting the nothing and hoping for the best! We love our Sweet Butterfly!

12.11.2010

2010-12-12T08:41:00.000-08:00

Our little butterfly Dakota spent yesterday with Auntie "M" and they painted and did arts & crafts! She came home happy and we look forward to many more visits like that. Dakota was in a her 1st School Program last week and here is the link to the video Dakota's 1st Public School Program

Enjoy as we do each day we get with a very special loving sole, kind hearted daughter who is growing up faster than her daddy wants!

As always, thank you Jesus for our gifts! (Dakota is a gift from God)

12.09.2010 Dakota's 5th Grade Program

2010-12-09T18:44:00.000-08:00

11.09.2010 Dakota's 1st ever public school program

2010-12-09T16:00:00.000-08:00

Let me start with the obvious: Dakota has been in private school for special needs since 1st grade. She is now integrated into public school at Lily B. Clayton. Tonight marks her 1st ever public school program ever and video will follow tonight...

to be continued...

11.20.2010.

2010-11-21T02:58:00.000-08:00

Dakota has shown improvement in her social skills and has adapted to her public school environment as well as could be expected. I am so proud of her for being very brave since school began this year. I get the best feeling inside of me when I drop them both off at the same school. I know we only get one year of this before Dakota goes to 6th grade and so I plan on soaking every bit of this year as possible!
I am also very proud of Dakota for exercising at the gym today. We had visited the gym Friday afternoon to get acclimated. Dakota did the treadmill and several other cardio exercise machines today. It was a little overwhelming for her about mid point of a 1 hour workout. Since the gym is only 5 minutes away, Scooter and I were able to run Dakota home and then return for another 30 minutes of exercise. I know Dakota is going to enjoy the benefits of the new family gym.

Have a great Day today!

11.17.2010

2010-11-18T00:37:00.000-08:00

I am standing in our kitchen watching our coffee pot brew, totally enjoying the aroma when Dakota walks up all calm like and asks : "So...................., Can I get a cup of Joe"? How could I resist? Her question totally took me back to my childhood when our MeMaw would serve us a cup of coffee; upon request of course. MeMaw would pour a sip or two of coffee in the cup, a spoon full of sugar, and then she would top it off with cream.

Flash forward to present day, our babies are requesting coffee and it reminds me of me.

School Update: Dakota has progressed both academically and socially in a Public School setting. Even her Doctor has noticed the changes in her social interaction. It is an awesome feeling to drop both of our girls off at the same school. I believe it has helped bond the relationship between Scout and Dakota.

Thanks be to Jesus for his love and guidance.

Dakota’s 1st Day back at Public School

2010-08-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

What a week it was leading up to today. We could see Dakota getting more and more anxious as the days crept by. She seems to seek out food for comfort when stressed. Knowing this helped me understand why when right after we eat a meal, she is back in the kitchen requesting if not taking what she wants and eating it all up, even though the rest of us are stuffed. I also noticed that normally if not stressed she will eat less. So-anyway… Mom was super stressed out the wazoo this morning, Dakota was a little anxious but totally ready to get things started. Scooter and I just roll with it because that’s how we roll.

I am retraining the whole family to function together with harmony and love; to have patience with each other to allow the love to shine through and create a better environment for us all. I can see results after a few weeks of acting as chief interpreter. We have a ways to go, but I know with Gods guidance we can change. I can’t change them, but I can help them see how we react over and over again to each other doesn’t have to be the vicious circle we have been chasing for 11+ years.

This morning we were all up and ready 2 hours before school started. This use to be a very a stressful time in our daily routines, so I am trying to get them all to see how we could change little things to delete the stress in our mornings. The girls looked adorable with their hair all fixed and pressed new school uniforms. I even dressed up for the day, although I was asked 3 times after arriving at work, “So… you got a job interview or what”? I always give a different answer to each who asks me the same question. That keeps em’ guessing. We were able to go by McDonald's and upload a picture, (a Woody annual tradition). But McDonald’s is getting wise to my free Internet squeeze. If I go inside and buy something, they leave me alone. But if I slide up to the outside dining area and grab their Wi-Fi , they sometimes cut it off until I leave. So, I will upload more later tonight when I visit my mom in the hospital (another great source for free Wi-Fi)

I know there will be bumps, hell maybe craters, but Lily B will do a great job working with Dakota. I hope I get a good report when I get home from work tonight. I can see Dakota blending in with all the “Normal” kids. I worry that Scout may have some problems dealing with a special needs sister right down the hall from her. All the questions she may get since most of her peers have never seen or heard of Dakota. But then, I know that stuff is normal for all kids and they have to go through it to learn. Mom cried when we left Dakota in her home room.

Dakota defiantly has her work cut out for her. To go from a one on one teacher ratio to one to 24 kids is a challenge by itself. “She can do this”! I keep repeating this over and over, “She can do this”!

I will keep updating Dakota’s progress this year. I have a few new blog topics I will introduce over the next few months, so keep reading. I promise to keep it entertaining.

Hug an old person today even if they grunt back at you! They really want the hug!

No more Meltdowns

2010-08-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if Dakota has matured or the medication is working better??? I do know that we have not seen any major meltdowns in a long time. This could change as we near the 1st day of school. Dakota is so excited that we have a count down till "Back to School Day". I'm excited to! I keep filling her ear full of positive "quirps". (a quirp is a very short sentence used to keep my daughters attention, because she doesn't have a very long span to absorb what the heck you are trying to tell her). I know this definition because I made the word up... and she is responding to my "quirps" with a very good attitude. Don't get me wrong, Dakota is not without attitude or anger. But we have noticed that the 3 hour plus meltdowns have disappeared! And that enough is to a monumental break through. Pardon me my eyes are leaking a little...

My baby is growing up and some days I miss my little girl with long hair and dark chocolate eyes. Even though we went through hell and back with her, I miss those days when she could sit in my lap and not squash the living day lights out of me. So I am absorbing every second with my little Scooter, because I know she to will grown eventually. Scout is so like me when I was her age (9). She will shock us all one day! We will wake up and she will be all grown and then I will miss my other little baby girl! But I embrace the day's I have with them for God is good to me! God is great to me!

PS. I have added some of AJ's and some of my friends to the email list so that you all can keep up with us crazy Woody's. If you receive a notice and do not wish to receive further notifications for new blog post, please send me a message and I can remove you from the list.

read over there today>

2010-07-29T13:10:00.001-07:00

http://onerandomman.blogspot.com/2010/07/very-random-vi.html

Quick Update

2010-07-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

Hey all who are interested...
It has been an interesting summer so far. Dakota is excited and a little scared to be starting back at Lily B Clayton, (Public School)http://www.lilybclayton.org/. I must admit, I am anxious as well. How do you transition a child that has had a one on one teacher ratio, a very big flat screen TV with Wii connected, and other private school amenities to Public School? Huh? ... I have no clue. Kids are cruel and public school can be hard. I just know Dakota is going to do great academically, it's the social interaction that worries me. All I can tell you is that I have surrendered this to my Lord and yes, it does feel like He gives me more than I can handle... but together we will get her through school!

Dakota's medication is somewhat stable. Her fits of anger seem less than a year ago. I don't want to comment to much on her meds. because I am not quite sure what all she is taking. I do know that we give her Juice Plus https://www.juiceplus.com/nsa/content/Welcome.soa supplements (if you are interested in Juice Plus send me a comment or email and I will forward you to Susan White) and she remains on Depakote (divalproex) and Risperdal (risperidone). Her good Doc added a medication that was to re-place her sleeping pill. That "one" is fun if you run out. (like say from a Thursday to Monday after 2pm) You can expect your child to be up almost 24 hours during that weekend. And once you can get it filled because the pharmacist has to special order it, you can expect a child that sleeps 24 hours a day until the medication levels out. Dakota just looked medicated... like a living Zombie. < get it living Zombie? Ha!

Anyway my hope is that Dakota makes new friends and can move on an thrive in a public school setting. I know that if it is anything like her Church Family http://www.stjohnsfortworth.com/, she will blossom like a spring Tulip. That would keep her busy and allow Scout to maintain her network of friends separately. Got to get back to work... man that sounds good!

Am I really?

2010-07-22T05:44:00.000-07:00

I can't tell you how many times I check myself after yelling at my daughter Dakota. This all seems to be a vicious circle and so eventually I realize that I am not a good father when I am yelling at my kids. I am not a good husband when I snap at my wife, ( no matter how many times I let her punch my buttons). I noticed over the last 3-4 days that when I approach our daughter Dakota with a calm voice (not easy) and avoid the "over reaction"; Dakota responds. It's not always a pleasant response... but she responds. I worry so much about her and find myself thinking how her life will turn out as an adult. We ran out of one of her meds last weekend which enabled Dakota to stay up all night, crave food more than usual, and it made her very, very, very cranky! This medication is special order for our pharmacy so it takes 3 days to come in. I tried to refill it on a Friday, therefore we couldn't pick it up until after 2pm on the following Monday. O-Boy! What a time we had. Now the medication is having to start it's cycle all over again in her body. This makes Dakota Bug sleepy, very sleepy. So she has been sleeping all night and most of the day (and I mean almost all of the day). It will eventually level out over the course of 5-7 days. I know... poor baby! Here's the kicker, she is behaving like an angel during this transition time. But she looks doped up from the medication and can barely hold her head up. So do you want a well behaved child that looks like she just took a hand full of sleeping pills or do you want a child that is stalking the refrigerator constantly and is "PISSED OFF" all the time? Hard decision? Is for me. So to re-cap, I yell (bad dad) I respond calmly good dad. Then I must accept her response because Dakota is Dakota and that is how she responds to us.

Hug a kid today, then tell them you love them!

DOUBLE POST

2009-09-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

Good morning all! It has been a while, writers block set in. LOL! Recently I was asked to share about a couple of things by different people so I will try to cover both here today.
1. What has our experience been with our Autistic daughter on medications?
Dakota’s diagnosis is complicated to say the least. She has mental retardation, MS, tic disorder, bi-polar, Aspergers, PDD, and some others that I forget…
It has been bliss at times and other times a curse. Dakota started meds at 2 years old. We had first sought out her pediatrician for help. He tried to teach me the bear hug method to control Dakota’s fits of rage. “Yea right Doc!” I said. “You mind showing me this technique?” And he tried this great bear hug thing and Dakota let him have it. She had already cracked my nose a good one when I had tried this method of control. He immediately referred us to a leading Psychiatrist. The first type of meds prescribed was in the stimulant area. And if you have never seen a baby smoke crack, woo-wee dogee! Dakota sat in her high chair and drew like 200 pictures with crayons then she stacked them over and over for a solid 3 hours before we could get her to stop. It was awful and we second guessed our decision to try meds. We ran the gauntlet of all the meds available to a child her age and weight. And then we went through the combination of 2 or more drugs at the same time. If there is a med out there, most likely Dakota has tried it. We had the best results with Seroquel for the longest time. But eventually it stopped working. Resperidone/resperdal seemed help control her outburst of anger, but the side effect was that she ate like a sumo wrestler. We are now on an experimental drug that we can only get through the mail. It is not working now, but we have more levels to go up and see if it helps. They have another girl that had negative results until they found the right level. Now the other patient is doing great. We have moments when we just through our hands up in the air and surrender. It can be so overwhelming that we feel completely hopeless! Other times Dakota will nuzzle up to you and say the sweetest things. I have to remember to bring God into the picture and ask for his help. I stay angry at God so much, I tend to push him out of my daily life.

2. I was asked to share about my DWI.

It was an awful experience. I had been drinking since I got off work and had taken some relaxation pills. I left to go get more beer even though we had beer in our fridge. I somehow went from the 7-11 where I bought a six pack to a bar across the street from the 7-11. I remember paying my tab after several mixed drinks and then I woke up at an intersection with lots of Police Officers standing beside my car. One officer reached in and turned my car off. A pedestrian had put my car in park and called the Police. I had passed out at a light in drive with my foot on the brake. I am blessed that I didn’t kill someone. I was given the test which I failed miserably, handcuffed and taken to jail. My wife bailed me out the next day and I almost lost my job. I won’t bore you with jail details because they are always the same old story. I was asked to move out of our home because of my drinking. A week later I was driving drunk and hit a car at a light. I just barley tapped her bumper, but she was already on the phone calling someone. I got out to make sure she was ok, and asked her not to call the police. I pointed to her rear bumper and showed her that there was no damage. She insisted on continuing her call so I got back into my car and hauled ass. I am ashamed of what I have done and I do not drink and drive now. I don’t drive period.

Medication Change: DEFCON 3

2009-09-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

AJ and I were desperate to get Dakota off the Risperdal to get her help for her OCD food fixation. So here is the list she has been on in the past:

Adderall
amphetamine

Adderall XR
amphetamine (extended release)

Focalin
dexmethylphenidate

Ritalin
methylphenidate

Non-stimulant for ADHD
Strattera
atomoxetine

Antidepressant and Antianxiety Medications
BuSpar
buspirone

Luvox (SSRI)
fluvoxamine
(for OCD)
Paxil (SSRI)
paroxetine

Prozac (SSRI)
fluoxetine

*Antipsychotic Medications
Clozaril (atypical)
clozapine

Haldol
haloperidol

Risperdal* (atypical)
risperidone

Seroquel (atypical)
quetiapine

Mood Stabilizing Medications
Cibalith-S
lithium citrate

Depakote
valproic acid

(for seizures)

Tegretol
carbamazepine

(for seizures)

I know it’s a lot to grasp that a 10 year old could have possibly taken that may meds in only 8 years. We ran the gauntlet a few times and that is just a short list I pulled off the internet.

We are now trying a new experimental medication called Xenazine® (ZEN-uh-zeen). As in all med changes in the past, it can be challenging at the least. If you look at Dakota; she screams at you, if you talk to her or ask her to do something; she screams at you. If you touch her; she screams at you. Yep- she pretty much just screams at us all the time. We have noticed a decline in the quantity she eats, but not in the amount of request or demands of food. She literally stalks our kitchen door. She loudly proclaims that we better fix her food or a full DEFCON 5 meltdown will erupt. This can be the breaking point for most parents. Believe me, AJ and I have stopped medications for less than this. Some of Dakota’s ticks have resurfaced. She cannot sit still and seems to have tunell vision that makes her zero in on one particular thing. Woo-wee-doggie! AJ and I have to constantly remind each other that she is not at fault, that she does not normally act this way or treat us like dog shit. It is so hard to get through these first couple of weeks without reacting to her meltdowns. Old habits die hard.
Mild mannered Dad by day, Sex cymbal by night.

My attempt at debating

2009-08-31T06:59:00.000-07:00

Curt Linderman Sr. commented on your status:

"already added you pussy! all I'm hearing is crickets on my end. BRING IT ON!"

Curt Linderman Sr. commented on your wall post:

"I took that directly off of your page that you let me see when we became "friends" look at your posts, and you're very lucky that the puss comment is over the net.... :^)"

First off, I should not debate subjects involving other people’s children let alone mine. Second, I should not debate while drinking. So having said that first, I apologize for my heated debate with Curt Linderman. Curt… I am sorry for the harsh words. You first attacked my wife and I rushed in to defend her forgetting that she can defend herself just fine without me. I apologize to all on FB who might have wondered what the hell I was doing “fighting” with an idiot like Mr. Linderman. Because let’s face it, It was an all out fight.

I should remember my purpose for Autism. To help others. To share my experience in raising a special needs child. What I didn’t mention in the great debate is that our daughter was very fortunate to have a set of grandparents that paid to have her chealated intravenously with a special formula designed to remove all of the heavy toxic metals from her body. Dakota had mercury free immunizations. However, the mercury was not the highest toxic metal in her blood. It was lead, and we had to give her extra treatments to remove it all. I noticed some slight changes in our daughter’s social skills and her all around personality. Others might not have seen any changes. I did. These treatments are not cheap and by no means should they be thought of as a cure to Autism. But if you are interested in talking to the Doctor that treated our Dakota, please drop me an email willwoodyjr@gmail.com.

As far as I’m concerned, I am not looking for the cause of Autism, I need to focus on giving my daughter the best quality of life she can have. There are much smarter people that can try to figure out the cause and cure or treatment.

Hug an Aspie today! They hate it!

A Little Bit of Awesomeness

2009-08-10T18:36:00.000-07:00

A cute little note about Dakota as told by my bonus mom early this morning on our way to the courthouse. Yes, it is my case that is before the court but that is another story on another blog, see here: http://woodyjrs-sobrietylog.blogspot.com/ anyway, mom was talking about the sleep over they had last Saturday night and how sweet Dakota was. They had stayed up late and then got up for church Sunday morning. After church, they where to plan the next event but Grandma had a bad allergy and needed her allergy medicine. Well, if you have ever ridden in Grandmas/bonus mom’s car then you know it is sometimes hard to find stuff due to all of the cleanliness, I mean clutter. So you would imagine her purse would be just as tidy…NOT! So Grandma is digging through her purse looking for her meds and can’t seem to locate the little package that allergy pills come in, ya know the ones where you punch the pill through the foil. And the girls are waiting oh-so patiently in the back seat…NOT! Dakota says to Grandma, “Grandma here” as she reaches for Grandmas purse and reaches in and grabs the pill pack and hands it to her in like 1.2 seconds. Amazing huh? How fluent and connected our Dakota can be at times. I just had to share that because I thought it was a bit of awesomeness!

Dear Julie

2009-08-07T14:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Julie,

Please understand that I was and am (mostly) anti-medication. Out of despair and reluctantly I have had to give in to the medication recommended by smarter people than I. This was after witnessing our daughter sturggle and suffer through countless meltdowns, social anxieties, physical reactions, and psychiatric breakdowns. Dakota (our Aspie) has been through the gauntlet of all medications. Some work better than others (But some stop working after time) and there are so many options out there. The key for our family was finding a psychiatrist that was interested in giving her the best functional quality of life considering her disorders. We have gone through 6 doctors, 5 visits at Cooks Children’s psychiatric hospital and one year long extended stay at the State Hospital in Wichita Falls, Texas.

Please understand that I am not a Doctor and I only offer our experience, strength, and hope. You should always seek professional help when treating yourself or child.

Dakota has been on all of the physcotrophic drugs available for children and many drugs for Bi-polar disorder. We have tried all of the ADHD meds and they are not right for her. I do know this, if your Doctor says your child is ADHD and you try the ADHD meds; then you see your child looks like they are smoking crack...then it doesn't matter if the child is ADHD because the meds have the opposite effect. I can't tell you how many times we have started a med only to take her off it after experiencing the opposite effect. Dakota has been on:

Mood Disorder

Seroquell (worked great for 2 years)

Trileptal (terrible rash but the best results)

Depakote (on now, have to check liver levels regularly)

Cogentin (on now for tics; Tourettes)

Lithium (Caused seizures)

Risperdal (on now and causes severe encreased appetite)

Geodon (very irritable)

Tenix

ADHD

Adderall XR (baby on crack)

Ritalin (baby on crack)

Vyvanse (baby on crack)

Strattera (baby on crack)

Focalin

Klonopin

Some helpful links on both sides:

CON

http://www.breggin.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=187

Neutral

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychiatry

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13102473/ns/dateline_nbc/

Dakota has gone through a total (IV admistered) chelation therapy designed by

Patricia Braun, MD

By Appointment Only

(903) 881-1929

vitamins@suddenlink.net

A wonderful retired Doctor/woman in East Texas.

Austin Rejuvenation Clinic

Dr. Vladimir Rizov

911 W. Anderson Lane
Austin, TX 78757
Phone: 512-451-8149

Type:
Ozone therapy
UVB therapy

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/seniors/seniors-meds/231.html

PRO

http://www.winmentalhealth.com/

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/psychiatric_medication_for_children_and_adolescents_part_ihow_medications_are_used

In my opinion you should know your child best and if you try a medication and it you don’t like the reaction, demand your child’s Doctor make a change and/or try another one. So many times my wife and I both have felt so helpless and alone regarding our daughter’s treatment. We have fought so hard to improve her life and at some point we have to accept that this is the best it is going to be right then. It is never easy and always drains our family’s time, energy, and serenity. I pray that whatever decision you make that it works best for your child and family.

Sincerely,

A proud Aspie Dad

Tuesday

2009-08-04T13:13:00.000-07:00

Text from mamma home:

I am still shocked at how horrible your kids can act! Awful awful awful.

Daddy’s text response: They get that from your mother’s side of the
family.
Phone call from mamma at home
Daddy: Thank you for calling Wedge,
Big Mac Daddy speaking. (caller ID is the greatest invention since Alexander
Bell talked through the bean cans).
Mamma: Whatever
Daddy: Hahaha (that’s
LOL)
Mamma: These are your kids and they are acting like heathens
today!
Daddy: They came out of your stomach.
Mamma: Whatever, they get
that shit from you!
Daddy: What’s the deal?
Mamma: Dakota, she can’t leave
Jade & Scout alone and when she tries to play with them she gets frustrated
because she doesn’t know how to play.
Daddy: Well, at least she is
trying.
Mamma: UGGG
Daddy: Can’t blame her for trying to play.
Mamma:
She hits them when they don’t want to play with them.
Daddy: Hmmmm
Mamma:
What are we going to do about you getting to work once the girls go back to
school.
Daddy: I’m not sure….yadda yadda, I go into details about paying my
lawyer and figuring it out later…
Mamma: You don’t want to talk on the way to
work, you don’t want to talk when you get home at dinner…UGGG
Daddy: I’ll
come home after work and we can talk then.
Mamma: Ok, we can all go out to
the back yard and hang out.
Daddy: Ok
Mamma: So you’ll be home at 5?
Daddy: No, I get off at 5, be home at 5:30.
Mamma: Ok
Daddy: Ok,
bye.
Mamma: Ok, bye.

Capricornia of personal hygiene products

2009-08-02T09:50:00.000-07:00

I didn’t want to get up and fix daddy’s breakfast this morning and it only took the girls jumping up and down and screaming at me for a solid hour to get me up. I can’t help wondering what it must be like for a starving child in Uganda. I mean my girls are screaming at me that they are starving! WTF? Maybe I will make them to watch the Feed the Children hour-long infomercial today.

I will not drink today! I will be a nicer husband to my wife. I will be a better dad to my kids. I may cut the grass, not sure on that one yet. I am feeling the stress of my pending trail date August 10th. I have 2 options once I plead guilty to DWI charges.
Probation and fines out the wazoo.
Labor detail and fines out the wazoo.
I may give up my license for a year suspension but that creates all kinds of havoc for my family. If I get an occupational license then I have to install interlock on my car. This is all going to cost us money we don’t have. We have kicked around the idea of me getting an apartment down in Joshua for the workweek and coming home to FW on the weekends. This could be cheaper than the occupational license route. I put this on paper to help me see my options. If I can see it, then I let go of some of the stress and hopefully make the best decision.

As I sat on my throne this morning dropping off the kids to the pool, I looked at our shower and thought, “What a capricornia of personal hygiene products we have”. Olive Oil, coconut, papaya, strawberry, aloe, orange, vanilla, green tea extract, silk of soy, passion fruit, essence of milk, peach extract. Hungry yet? That’s all shampoo, body wash, and conditioner. When did we fall for this corporate advertising scam? I look at the back and read the ingredients and it may mention fruit, oils, or milk/soy; but the words they use look like chemicals to me. At least it all smells good. Remember, “Perk”. I use to love the smell of Perk, now I need my fruity smelling shampoo with an olive oil bath rinse. When I was a cook back in the day and we would party it up all hours of the night only to get back up and repeat the whole process, dogs would lick my shoes spotless. See if your dog tries to lick you when you come out of the shower? Bet your Skippy turns and runs.

Have a blessed day and hug a kid today! Pray for a soldier! Look at the sun and thank God for the warmth. ~ Will Woody

Saturday & Autism

2009-07-25T20:48:00.000-07:00

I have a 30-minute commute since my job moved to Joshua, Texas. I don't mind it, but my wife does since I a without a license. Anyway I say that because we all must get up early for the morning carpool. So...Saturday is sleep in late day for pops. (WRONG) It's like pulling teeth to get all 3 females up in the Woody home during the week. Come Saturday & Sunday, my daughters are up at 6am ready for dad to cook his world famous weekend breakfast. (I know it's my own fault for being such a good cook) Besides I enjoy it! So this morning Dakota was up at 7am and since she slept in our bed last night; she tried to sneak out of our room to go wake up her sister and her sister's sleepover mate, Jade. I stopped her and asked her not to wake them up and come back to bed for a little bit. She reluctantly crawled back into our bed and turned the TV on to cartoons. (Something I use to do as a kid, but I would never wake my parents. I would creep into the living room and quiet as a mouse turn the TV on and fix myself a bowl of cereal). At 7:30 am, Dakota had left our room and accomplished her morning mission. So all-3 girls were in my face jumping up and down on me screaming, "Fix us breakfast! Fix us breakfast!" over and over. I got up around 11am and did just that. Dakota helped me cook while Jade and Scout played (made a big mess). Must love them moments of fun with your autistic child!

No Sarcasm Needed (yeah right)

2009-07-24T10:46:00.001-07:00

I have decided to change my blog concept from bitching sarcasms to a more positive constructive helpful place for parents and children with ASP or other mental illnesses. I am not sure how well I will do with this new concept, but I figured it would be better than complaining all the time and saying, “poor me”-“why us” and try to help others.
It is difficult break routines of our ASP of our daughter. In the beginning my wife and I had decided that our children would adapt to our schedule and our way of doing things. That worked for some time, however as Dakota got older she became more demanding of our time and energy. Our attention was always focused on her. Our youngest daughter Scout suffered from all the attention Dakota was getting and started to act out. So being the great parents we are we focused as much of our attention on lil Scooter as we could. (See sarcasm already sneaking in here). Then it seemed like Dakota would regress, pooping in her pants, or wetting the bed, and violent outburst for no reason.
I try to balance the attention I give my girls now, but it is the baby that parks right beside me the minute I walk in the door. We can’t get her out of our bed either. Dakota winds up in our bed about 5am every morning anyway, so I wake up squished like a sardine with one girl on either side. Then I look over at my wife who is spread out with the other half of our bed snoring like a big ol’ bear. (More sarcasm)
I have been trying to put myself into Dakota’s shoes lately. I try to ask myself how she feels not why is it like this that she has to dry her hands before I can wash her face. How does she feel when she has to change her clothes once one drop of liquid touches them? If I can change my reactions and my habits, it seems to help Dakota avoid the big Defcon 5’s. (For new readers, a Defcon is a meltdown rated 1 to 5, five being nuclear fallout)

Anyway I have babbled on enough. Hug your children today and tell them you love them. Read a book together and enjoy the time together.

Mother's Day Smothers Day!!!

2009-05-10T18:42:00.000-07:00

I officially rename Mothers Day in the Woody home to Wife’s Day. I am convinced that my daughters are spoiled divas.
1. I washed the dishes this morning and made AJ breakfast in bed with coffee to boot.

2. Then I did the dishes again.

3. I took out the trash and maid a second pot coffee.

3-1/2. I then took a long nap, which was rudely interrupted with screams from Scout and AJ as AJ tells me she is leaving to get away from Scout. WTF??? Then Scout screams at me for 10 minutes until her anger resides to a kiss my ass level.

4. AJ returns and I do the dishes once again.

a. I did all this and claim no recognition. All I am saying is: “HELLLO… AJ IS MY WIFE NOT MY MOTHER”. I wished mom #2 a happy day and haven’t called my birth mother to wish her a happy Mothers Day! Oh…snap, I must call my mom!!!

Last Night Part II

2009-05-01T11:22:00.000-07:00

I arrive home after a 6-O-clock meeting and AJ looks drained of all life like qualities. Scout & Dakota are no where to be seen nor heard. I think to myself… “My God, has she finally locked them in the closet!” I ask several times, “Where’s the girls?” All I get in return is a blank stare. The house is quiet, it is scary. AJ was watching another little girl because FWISD closed due to 1 case of the pig flu in Tarrant County. Finally the kidos come out of their silence and embrace me. Scout-hold hug and a kiss. Dakota- belly slam and a twitchy quick escape.

Later I am microwaving (preferred cooking device in our home; some left over roast beef (which I made and tasted like Wolf Gang had cooked it himself) when I hear loud screaming from the girls. Up until this moment, they had been getting along and semi-sharing Dakota’s beloved dog book. (This book has every dog know to man and some aliens). This book constantly reminds my daughters of what an awful mean father I am for getting rid of “Ozzy”, our rottweiler. The boy was just getting too damn big and it was a joint decision, but somehow, dad gets all the blame. Anyway… Dakota has jerked the book away from Scout and refuses to share as she storms off to our bedroom. Then I see lil Scooter running after fists clenched ready to woop some big sister ass. I know AJ is spent and has been dealing with this kind of interaction all day with the added bonus of the other brat she is watching. So… Da-ta-ta-daaa! Super dad intervenes. I first approach Dakota and with a very calm voice ask her if she is being a nice big sister to Scout? Her response is covering her ears and screaming some indescribable words or sounds back at me. I gain her attention (this is where I go rouge and temp the boundaries of good parenting) by mentioning that the devil is winning! She looks at me with a surprised face and uncovers her ears. I go on to tell her that the devil wants her to be mean and ugly to her sister and others so she can go to hell instead of Heaven with Jesus. Now is really interested in what I am telling her and I have her full attention. I explain that Jesus asks us to love our family and others and to be nice and share. If we try our best we can go to Heaven instead of hell. She agrees to share the book with Scout and so I must reach Scout to get her on board ASAP… Scout greets me with cowering in a chair and covering her head with her arms grunting at me with those grunts that make me want to pull my own teeth out. (With vice grip pliers) I explain to Scout that Dakota made a mistake, we all make mistakes and that now Dakota would like to share the dog book (That damn dog book! UGGG!) She agrees and Dakota apologizes and they get along for the next 30 minutes without a peep or scream. I walk back to my pot roast which is now nice and warm; ready to eat and began to feed my face. I feel pretty damn good and think I just made a major breakthrough in the health of our daughter’s relationship. (Look out all you other dads; I am gaining points for dad of the year)

30 minutes later… it all starts up again and in seconds Dakota plops down on the sofa next to AJ. She looks me square in the eyes and asks me, “What is hell anyway?” My ego falls to the floor and I just smiled.
3am…. Dakota finally falls asleep, so I follow at 3:15am
6am… Alarm sounds like a bomb raid siren and I crawl out of bed at 7:20am. I make it to work at 8:01am.

Free Pet Pigs

2009-04-30T13:59:00.000-07:00

We are all alive and in fairly good health considering. Dakota is back home and AJ and I would like to thank Papa Biff and Gamma Melinda for their kind, loving effort to take Dakota in for a couple of days. Had I kept my peas in row, AJ might have actually received some well deserved rest. But being the grand asshole I am, well we will save that story for another time. Dakota was restless last night so we made her a pallet on our floor. We started her back on Resperidol (lowest dose to start) and it seemed to help a bit. It is the hardest decision I have ever had to make as a parent to put her back on the meds. It was a no-brainer and AJ and I both agreed she had to go back on something. She just couldn’t function off the meds. No school, no play time, she couldn’t even sit still to enjoy her favorite cartoon show. We are reducing the depakote and gradually increasing the Resperidol. Aj will take her to see her Neurologist tomorrow, so I may have more news to report then.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mental-Health/Resperidol-and-Schizoeffective-Disorder/show/266574

Sunday Night

2009-04-27T11:53:00.000-07:00

I skip a meeting because Gamma Melinda has the girls until 9pm! Yes thank you Gamma and Auntie “M”. It was so nice to be alone with AJ all day. Of course around 6pm AJ starts with, should we call crap, and where are they stuff. I’m like, WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO…. Let’s eat dinner naked! But that doesn’t happen so I call Gamma and they are still in Grandburry, TX. (YES!) We have time to go to our Albertsons and shop leisurely and not have to beat the girls in public. We shop kid less and man… that is a small piece of paradise (those with kids completely understand; unless you have the perfect kids, note: if your kids are perfect, look out- serial killer in the making). We even have time to put the groceries up, cook dinner, and watch some of Desperate Housewives. The report from Gamma is that Dakota is that Dakota behaved awesome.

(9:oopm) They are home. We get them in their jammy's and into they’re beds. (Pottery Barn bunk beds) Then Dakota starts the “hop game” were she goes from room to room and can’t settle down and fall asleep. AJ fixes the big chair (Pottery Barn) with the pee pad and sheets, just the way “D” likes it. She lays there for like 3.2 seconds before she decides her bed would be better. I just get back to my online poker game when I hear the “Storm Trooper” charging down the hall. She now has determined that the couch (Pottery Barn) is the best nest to rest. I say no, but mom says, hey if she goes to sleep…. (Pick your battles thing). So I get up and we make the couch (Pottery Barn) with the pee pad, sheets, just the way she likes.

AJ and I settle into bed and seconds later she is snoring like a big old’ grizzly. I’m thinking… WTF that’s my gig, I’m the one who falls asleep in 1.2 seconds. Moments later that damn “Storm Trooper” is charging from the living room sofa to our bedroom. I know its Dakota walking through the house, but it still scares the piss out of me because she sounds like a damn swat team invading our humble abode. The couch is out so I put her back in her bed, begging and pleading at this point for her to just PLEASE try and lay still long enough to fall asleep. “D’s” response: “ARRGGGG!!!! I CAN’T!!!! UGGGG!!! CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND? I JUST CAN’T!!!”

I settle back into our bed; guess what? BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, she’s running full speed from her room to ours. I am going insane at this point. This goes on 2 or 3 more times, before I get up and look into her room. Dakota has pulled her mattress off her bed and all the sheets/blankets are on the floor as well. I am livid and past sleep deprived. I put her bed back together and talk very sternly to her until she gets into her bed and pulls the covers over her head; all the time cussing me under her breath.

I settle back into bed, try my best to slow my heart beat, almost fall asleep when I feel a presence. I open my eyes and the “Stealth Bomber” (Scout) is nose to nose and very quiet. “What’s up sweetie?” I ask. “I threw up in my bed.” Oh-shit! This requires team work. I wake the “Grizzly” from her winters nap and we clean up the bed, give Scooter a shower, make her a pallet in our floor; trying not to wake Dakota up. Ahhhhh… back in bed, almost asleep, presence again. “Yes Scout, are you sick again?” “No.” “Are you going to puke anymore?” “No.” “Ok, climb in, but get on your moms side in case you do puke!” (11:30pm) SLEEP! SLEEP! SLEEP!

(3:00am) “STORM TROOPER”! She crawls into our bed and head butts, kicks, and bumps me until my alarm clock starts screeching at me.

UMD (unvoluntary movement disorder)

2009-04-25T16:51:00.000-07:00

This is just a few minutes out of a 24 hour period of Dakota's movemnet disorder. She can not sleep but maybe 2-3 hours straight at any one time. She hops (storms like a swat team leader busting a drug house) from one room to another and is walking different. Her speach is affected and we are all exhausted from this ordeal.

Look Mom.... No training wheels!!!

2009-04-25T15:27:00.000-07:00

I was thrilled then later amazed when Scout asked for her training wheels to be removed so she could learn to ride her bike; it had been a long time sine Dalton had first learned to ride his bike without training wheels. I only had to loosen the nuts and Scooter had them off in a flash. After a few instructions and reminding her to use her brake when she wanted or needed to stop, I gave her one push off. WOW!!! That was all it took.... a real natural.

Try and Open My Front Door- I dare ya!

2009-04-10T15:31:00.000-07:00

Getting out the front door in the each morning in the Woody home can be a little challenging. (It is important to know that I went to sleep at 2:00am this morning and woke up, no awakened at 4:30am and I am not generally a morning person) So I do my thing on the computer until 7am and then start to raise the kidos from their deep slumbering sleep to get ready for school. Since I have “Good Friday” off, I think I will score major brownie points if I let AJ sleep in. Scout is the hardest to get out of “OUR DAMN BED” in the mornings. Dakota was already awake watching cartoons in… yep, “OUR DAMN BED”! (Let me tell you, it is impossible to sleep in my bed next to a very muscular 9yr old that has the herky-jerkies). Now you have a good idea who woke me up at 4:30. I use the “Who wants to get up and go to school for their Easter parties” trick and it seems to get the troops stirring. Scout takes a quick rinse off shower and I am trying to get a pot of coffee brewing because I am really starting to feel the jet lag of 2 hours of sleep. Dakota is thumbing through her dresser drawers looking for a change to the outfit previously picked out by her mom the night before. AJ is sick and must complete this task each day and if there is any deviation… let’s just say it isn’t pretty. So I yell (1st mistake) “Dakota please put the dress on that your mom picked out last night!” And the response I get is: “I hate dresses and I’m not wearing it!” I yell even louder, (2nd mistake) Damnet you will wear what your mom picked out or you can just stay home and miss your party!” I do not recommend this as a good parenting technique. Scout gets out of the shower and can tell her daddy is on no mood for their crap; she quietly gets dressed, brushes her teeth, and say’s she brushed her hair. (I can plainly see she has not touched her head with a brush) So I brush Scooters hair and focus my dadism on D-girl because I know she is going to be my biggest challenge to get ready and out the front door on time. Dakota and I fight for what seems like 3 days and I surrender my ground and let her pick out her clothes as long as she just puts the frickn things on so we can leave. Scout must be at school at 7:55am. Dakota can’t arrive any earlier than 8:15am. It only takes 2 minutes to drive to Scout’s school; 2 minutes from Scout’s school to Dakota’s school, and 4 -6 minutes back home. But somehow the round trip takes 30 minutes. So fast forward to the girls and I walking out the front door. Scout dressed in her pre-picked clothes and Dakota in black sweat pants and a long sleeve t-shirt with a leopard on the front of it. (They both had free dress day) Now the fun begins… Dakota makes a bee-line to the front door and attempts to open the inside door, which is impossible for a child to open and even some adults. (You know who you are grownups that always have to ask me to get up and open my door for you; Marybeth, Dalton, DeDe, and a few others) Scout is doing her best to out maneuver Dakota for front position so she can walk out the door first. At the same time Dakota is jockeying for better leverage so she can be the first one out the damn door! I am screaming for both to get away from the front door so I can even reach it to open it! I have keys in one hand and a full non-covered piping hot mug of coffee in the other hand. Dakota and Scout both have backpacks that outweigh themselves on their backs. Scout goes ninja on Dakota and I am doing my best to separate them with no hands. Scout bumps me and my coffee spills all over the clean mountain; but not folded and put away pile of clothes on the chair that you can no longer see right by…. Wait for it…… the damn front door!!! GRRRRR! (If you know AJ, you know she loves to wash the shit out of some clothes, she just doesn’t like to do the rest of the process. (Not a complaint, I love you honey and am eternally grateful for everything you do for us slackers in the Woody home) I’m screaming mad and ready to lock them both in a closet for a minimum of 3 years. (Not really, please put the phone down) Scout runs off the opposite way of the front door screaming and crying because a few drops of my precious Joe landed on her new Easter basket. Shit… all I want to do is go back to bed, but I know it is my daddly duty to get these hellcats to school; if for anything, just to have some peace and quiet for a few hours. I get Scooter back online and we all walk out the door with a new rule, “Only adults can open the door that only adults minus a few can open in the first damn place.

This shit is much funnier if you know all the personalities in our dysfunctional functional home.

Project Managing "The Vocavulary Hat" project

2009-04-09T08:39:00.000-07:00

Last week or the week before that one I was asked to help “Scooter” with her school project. She was to create a vocabulary hat with a pre-selected word printed on and index card that she brought home from school. The hat should be decorated according to the child’s word. When first summoned for this project, “Scout” told us her word was “lightning” and a straw gardening hat was to be used to decorate. Now about this time “Dakota” was in Cooks Physc. Unit and I was in the middle of a slip off the old wagon. So as always, I procrastinated starting “Scooters” project until the last possible minute. (Said to self…great parenting skills-Will) which was yesterday. Turns out after I had cut out rods of wire coat hanger to bend in the shape of lightning bolts; then to be covered with yellow floam stuff (Which I thought was a pretty damn good idea) that “Scouts” word was actually “lighting”!!! WOW-Nelly! WTF!!!

So… we are needing some “light” like objects… Bam! I think of battery powered light stings, like the ones you might put on your car for Christmas. I know we have some but they are up in the darkest corner of our attic and the damn Squirrels that live up there give me the heebee jeebee’s! (Besides who likes going up into the attic for anything?) So we summon Granddaddy because he has everything in the universe. He; bless his heart, climbs up into his attic and finds a set from when they first made these things and pulls it out for “Scouts” vocabulary hat project. (D size batteries) And there is some talk about how big the battery box is and will it work???
So…warp to 5pm yesterday and I am feeling the guilt of my procrastination to its fullest and driving up and down South Hulen from Hobby Lobby to Wall Mart looking for battery powered light stings. It’s Easter so this should be an easy find, right? NOPE! I do however locate some very nice (but not cheap) lights at Wally World and think I may just pull off the “Dad of the Year” award. I make my purchase with the biggest smile on my face as the Wally World lady (missing a front tooth) looks at me like my electricity might have been cut off. (Why else would I be buying so many battery powered lights?) I make the 6 at Southwest still on cloud nine and already have the straw gardening hat mapped out and how the lights are going to be arranged and stuff. The index card is to be visible on the front of the hat for all to see your word. I have purchased Velcro strips and hot glue sticks (over prepared) just to make sure I pull this project off with a BANG! My son “Dolphin” is coming over for dinner and I am excited to see him sober. (Dude has drunken asshole radar and only seems to pop in when I’m…well a drunken asshole!)
Ok so after “Scout” finishes her homework last night and takes her weekly shower, I hot glue the shit out of these lights and vocabulary index card to the damn “STRAW GARDENING HAT” ………………………. Are you ready……………………….. YEP! DEFCON 5 melt down alert!!! “Scooter” is pissed and she is screaming at the top of her size 3 lungs which sounds like a size XXXL set! “THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANTED! I DIDN’T GET TO DO ANY OF IT! YOU JUST DID IT ALL!” If you know “Scout”, then you know she is very hands on, independent, head strong, angry, little ½ pint of a MONSTER (at times)! She can woop a 6’10” 350lb lumber Jack if he pissed her off! She is pissed and threatening to rip this straw hat to shreds or even through it away once she gets in school and not participate in the vocabulary hat parade. Did I mention there is a parade of vocabulary hats?

Solution: After getting “Scout” to calm down with sitting and some deep breaths (Some techniques I learned at anger management classes) I cut off the lights and the index card from that damn “STRAW GARDENING HAT” and she hot glues the shit out of them to a very girly head band. The index card is clipped to one of the battery powered lights she found in her damn room! (Yes she had one all this time) and we don’t use 2 of the kind of expensive lights I purchased at Wally World. She will be the BOMB at the parade. GUARENTEED! .

And I might just pull of that dad of the year award, unless "AJ" divorces me and re-marries a youth minister this year.

It's all about the Poo!

2009-04-07T07:56:00.000-07:00

Day 1-1/4 post hospital. Yesterday was a short lived honeymoon. Dakota was excited to be coming home and I think a little on the edge to be leaving the safe environment of the hospital. She seems to maintain a better mood in the institutional setting. (Something we cannot mimic at home) The “herky-jerky” are less frequent and I have hope that they may become less noticeable as we change her diet. We are to collect poo samples for 3 days. This is normally an easy but unrewarding task. This task becomes a little more challenging when you have a child that refuses to poop and holds it in until about a quarter size amount of poo squeezes itself out. (This is my life; writing about poo!) So you have 3 sample collection bottles (about the size of a medium pill bottle) filled with some liquid; there is a red line about ½” from the top and we are to take the smallest “sprok” made by man to dig pea size samples from different areas of the turds. (Are you following me so far, or have you hit the back button?) You fill the sample bottle up to the red line with these pea size poo-balls…Bam! Were done! No…No…No… not so fast, back up (be kind rewind) we are dealing with “Dakota” here and the poo sample is the size of a quarter and smashed between her butt cheeks; were talking butt cheeks that are very sore from pooing in her panties and not telling anyone. (With a tiny spork) If you are still reading, then you have to feel our pain. All this time your baby is screaming at the top of her lungs, “I CAN’T POOP! LEAVE ME ALONE!, OUCH!!!, STOP IT!” and lil’ Scooter is climbing the bathroom sink to get a peak at this freak show. Yes… we did our damnedest to fill that poo bottle to the red line! No, we can’t give her the stool softener, laxative, or enema. That would make it too damned easy! At this point of the evening I’m singing that song that starts with the guy screaming, “ Woooo-Hoooo!” over and over in my head, only I’m just singing those two words over and over! Top this shit off with some allergic reaction that gave her the red face and hives all over her body. Benadryl anyone…??? Breathe William… just breath! This too shall pass. We have the tools and the stamina to get past this and make our home a pleasant one with love and understanding. A home that strives off peace and harmony instead of stress and poo collecting episodes. Yeah! Right? This is the Woody home… yep this too shall pass!

Rope-A-Dope Herky-Jerks

2009-03-30T22:35:00.001-07:00

Ok, much has changed since this afternoons Sobriety blog. The teacher (At the hospital) convinced the staff and doctor to take Dakota off all her meds except depakote (mood stabilizer). She noticed involuntary movement like in Tourette syndrome. Why the damn physiatrist didn’t notice this sooner (we sure as hell did 1st time we saw her after she started Ritalin) baffles me. So this teacher noticed these involuntary movements like the herky-jerks I described over on the other blog. The staff gave Dakota a shot to stop the herky-jerks and told mom that she would get another shot tomorrow for the same thing. If the herky-jerks came back the 3rd day after these 2 shots, then it was most likely that a previous medication caused these herky-jerks and they could be permanent. WHAT?!?! Or more like WTF!!! Man I can’t tell you what it feels like to be a parent and know that possibly the medicine you gave your child to help them may have life lasting effects. But I’m getting ahead of the circumstances and need to turn this over to God ASAP! Next bit of news… Dakota’s DO doc Harris ran an extensive allergy test on her blood. She is allergic to almost every major food know to mankind. WOW! Does this ever suck hind tit! We’re talking all dairy (She is going to be PISSED!), all grains, all fruits (except pears, watermelon, and papaya), almost every vegetable (except broccoli and carrots) forget beef, chicken, and pasta! She can eat most fish and shrimps (wow…she hates fish). Thank God I filled my meds today… because I was about to explode at the 6 today. One second I felt like I was going to burst into tears, the next I was laughing my ass off cause Doug lifted a leg and farted while the guy behind him was sharing. Only a handful of about 30 people noticed, and only 4 of us were cracking up and rolling on the floor. I called up to talk to Dakota because AJ had a terrible visit. Dakota was in no mood to talk and only wanted to get back to her movie. I told her I missed her and that I wanted her home, she muffled something like, “I don’t want to come home.” So I replied, “Not right this minute.” And she just said, “Bye” and the phone went back to the nurse. I then proceeded to ask this nurse if she noticed Dakota’s enlarged stomach. It was very visible since she has lost weight on the crack shit they call Ritalin. “Ummm, no.” Then I tell her she has not poo’d in since she got there and that we have to give her poo softeners at home daily. She gets our brand and I hang up while mom is yelling in the next to me, “I TOLD THEM THAT LAST SATURDAY!!!” All I have right now is God, grant me the serenity and for heaven’s sake keep me from that 1st drink… cause that sumbiach’ is lookn’ real frickn’ tasty right now

spring time is so pretty "get off me ya bitches"

2009-03-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

well… it’s spring time once again and that means our girl “dakota” is off her rocker and manic as all get out. she is currently enrolled at the cooks children’s physciatric unit for whatever time our health insurance bully’s will approve payment. don’t these insurance people have children? (sigh) (phffff) how can you take a little girl off depakote, geodone, tenex, & prozac in 3 damn days??? not that the hospital is agreeing to take her off all her meds, even though that was the only reason we gave to get her back in (5th or 6th time) and they said that it was awesome that she had not been back since 2006?!?! anyway my beef is not with the insurance bully’s or even with the hospital, it is with the whole situation. aj and i are veterans at this shit now, but it still seems to nag at our last thread and pull us down deep into the swamp of “fuck it!” all we are asking for is some quality of life for our little angle. (irony: dakota probably loves her life we just can’t see that from all of the, “get the fuck off me ya bitches" statements we heard last weekend) whatever/really?

aj and i seem to be each other’s perfect balance. i know she is my rock and that i would most likly shrivel up and wither if i didn't have her in my life. she is half empty vs. my half full; who am i kidding, i never had a ½ glass of anything…. fill er’ to the rim for me please! i'll have double please!

(funny side story) at a surprise party for someone i know last night,
little drink tokens were given out to the guest to take to the private bartender
and get yourself an alcoholic beverage. my lovely wife aj was in charge of this
nice lil' fish bowl full of multi colored coins. she was to hand out 2 per
quest. let me tell you... there were a butt load of coins in that damn fish
bowl. if i had been placed in charge of that special duty (back in my drinking
days) chit-man them other people would have been lucky to split 1 beer. (about
60 guest) thats right do the math hmmm 60 x 2.... ummm hummm get ya drink on
mofo's and go ahead and call the taxi cab. have him park right close to the
exit... cause daddy is gettn shitty tonight!!!

enough of that drunk ass talk! even though we both have the same goals for dakota, we often see different paths to reach those goals. we live with the constant stress of raising a special needs child. guess what? just like i learned in alcoholic anonymous that i was not so damn unique, nor special; we are not the only ones who have a special needs child. in fact… it is very common to know at least 5 out of 10 parents that have a child with some “capability/disability” (guess which word is mine vs. aj’s) face book as recently put me in touch with some old friends from high school, middle school, hell even elementary. and it turns out most of these said friends whom were mostly acquaintances back then, but now thanks to the internet (cause we all live all over this earth) are really true, sincere, neat, awesome friends. and a lot of these friends share a common thread, we have special needs children.
wtf did the government put in our drinking water and shampoo? just kidding… i really am not a conspiracies theorist and i do not have an overwhelming urge to find the cause nor the cure for autism, by-polar, Add, etc.. i just want my little “D-girl” to be happy and live as close to a normal life as possible. (it would be nice if she didn’t call us bitches and bastards or tell us to fuck off and die 3-4 times a week) but hey… the 1st part is much more important and i hate to seem to needy, god has a whole world to look after. as usual prayers, thoughts, and comments are always cherished and truly welcomed!

if you are a grammar freak or were just paying close attention to this blog, you may or definitely noticed the lack of capitalizeation. (intentional) as a tribute to a real blogger/writer shauna glen (yes she is the astronauts daughter) check her out: http://shaunaglenn .blogspot.com/

funny gal’

ps the 1st reader to find 3 capital letters in this posting wins a free drink at starbucks. ya have to comment the letters back 1st and come to Fw to recieve your free drink. ok if you live too far from fw, you can play... i'll mail you a gift card so include your address.

In the midst of med changes

2009-03-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

Need I say more?

Bless Dakota lord, for she is a wonderful beautiful soul trapped in challenged shell. The struggle between “Meds” vs. “No Meds” continues to haunt my well being. Mom seems to handle this decision better but freaks out easily in the process of changing from one med to another; I am the calmer parent once we have started the change and usually wind up talking mom down off the ledge.

Dakota has not slept in 5 days, I wake up 2-3-4am and she is right in my face starring a hole through me which scares the piss out of me. I asked AJ to lock the kitchen door (inside access) last Saturday night before we went night night and she confirmed task accomplished. I wake up Sunday morning and crawl to the john to relieve my swollen kidneys and I peak in the kitchen. I see… “SHIT!” Dakota sneaks up behind me and spooks me. She is proud that she has managed to drag a chair over to the kitchen door, unlock the top lock; latch type (yes we have 2 … repeat 2 locks on the kitchen door) and has made herself a nice ketchup, cheese, mayo, jelly sandwich on a hamburger bun. (I find the thing half eaten later in her room)

GOD PLEASE HELP US GET PAST THIS AND GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE BEST POSSIBLE
LIFE POSSIBLE!!!

DEFCON 2009

2009-03-10T17:54:00.000-07:00

The calm before the storm as set in here in the Woody house. That means not much to talk about and the melt downs are fewer and far in between. Its scary calm and we are in the midst of a med change. I would like to share this blog with you and if you are a parent of a special needs child (or not) please pray for John & Robin.

http://autismbitestheblog.blogspot.com/2009/03/president-obama-autism-change-im.html

Order In the Court

2009-02-26T11:18:00.000-08:00

I felt like passing along a little funny stuff today. It's an oldy but goodie! Made me laugh anyway... I mean... who doesn't like laughing?

Disorder in the court. These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan! ____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. ____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ . ___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid ____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess. ____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. _____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral. _________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________

And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law...

2009-02-17T12:52:00.001-08:00

Anger Management 101

I had a voice mail on my office line yesterday that made me happy and sad at the same time. “What a conundrum”, right? My “D” had left me a voice message: “Daddy, I need your help with my anger issues.” WOW!!! Now if you know my girl “Dakota”, you know she has matured quite a bit in the last 2-3 years both physically and mentally. But o-man… to hear her voice sound so grown up, so fluent, and her sentence so straight to the point. (~ fragmented sentence I know, but I’m not going to change it!) My heart almost broke into a million tiny pieces!!!

We have “D” on a “Chealation” (key-lay-tion) treatment, thanks to a wonderful GiGi & Papa Gus; to help “D’s” autism. Now- I am a believer in this treatment and if you are not, just shut up and listen. I’m not trying to sell you anything; I only mention it because I believe there is relevance to this blog on anger management for autistic children. “D” has been receiving Chealation for almost a year now and I do see some improvement. It is all relative to your expectations. If you go into this treatment thinking it will cure your child’s autism, well… you may have a negative outcome. If you just want some improvement in the quality of your child’s life… BAM! Go for it now: (I suggest one of these Doctors)

Gerald Harris, DO, BPCT
1550 W. Rosedale St., #714
Fort Worth, TX 76104Phone:
(817) 336-4810Fax:
Coppell Redox Clinic
David E. Winslow, D.O.
270 N. Denton Tap
Coppell, Texas 75019
Phone: 972-393-4686
E-mail: edtadoco2@yahoo.com

Dr. Braun, Patricia A, MD
20375 Co Rd 4130
Lindale, TX 75771
(903) 881-1929

Dr. Braun is a way cool lady and she can talk your head off in her office,
butshe can also mix up a batch of IV meds to heal you of whatever ails you. She
isa wonderful Doctor (retired mind you) who has taken an interest in
treating“Dakota”. We are blessed that she sends the recipes to Dr. Harris in
Fort Worth(office right down the street from our house) and they administer the
treatmentlocally.

Ok… back to the anger thing…So “D” leaves this awesome message for me and I have to dry my tears before I call her back. (Sniffle) When I call her back she has already resolved her “anger issue” (her words) and agrees to small lessons in anger management. I can teach this having received my certificate in 1998, (court ordered, but well received). The best thing to ever come out of my first marriage/divorce besides my son “Dalton”. (~another fragmented sentence…deal with it!)I see so much growth and improvement in “D” since she began the treatments. Don’t get me wrong… she is not cured of Aspergers in any way, shape, or form; but she is different. I think for my "D" to even ask for help with her anger is progress.

Now... mom is at home with her and spends way more time
with her in cars and in general. You would definitely get a different opinion on
this from her, but this is my blog and I am sure I will get some remark like:
"Are you fucking high?" or “Oh-William, you are in such denial!" "LMFAO"

So lesson one was this morning before I left for work:
1. Deep breaths. One of the most important tools you can use when you get angry. Stop whatever you are doing and take several deep breaths. Breath like when you were a baby; fill your stomach and exhale slowly. Too many adults breath into their chest and not their stomach. This helps defuse the blood that has rushed to your head and calms you down.

Lesson 2 to follow…

2009-02-01T21:10:00.000-08:00

How do I keep a lifetime of pain from my little girl’s heart?

When I was 9 years old I was a skinny little runt. I had to use my personality and God given charm to get the bigger kids to include me in their play. My nickname was "Bones" until David Khuen and his big ass mom moved away. (David’s nickname was Q-ball) Momma Q-ball was the genius that came up with my new name Bones. To pay Momma Q-ball back for this cruelty, I pissed in Q-balls bed every sleep over I had at his house. Only problem with that; Q-ball pissed in his bed too! (And of course my bed when sleeping over at my crib)

I was blessed or cursed depending on whom you ask with a charming outgoing personality. This goes against most Alcoholics stories and confused me when I was first introduced to AA. Most Alkies are introverts and need the juice to blend in. I needed the booze to slow me down. I had enough bullshit to fit in just fine but I needed to "not" fit in sometimes and the liqour did the trick. I could talk my way into a field ball (football in a field) or dodge ball game or convince the other cool kids to let me hang with them. I did this to feel a connection, to belong to a social group.

Having one daughter with Autism and one without I see a little of me in both.

Scooter is very popular with her peers as was "D" before her social discrepancies surfaced. Scooter has lots of girlfriends and several like to come over and play at our house. "D" has her BFF Jacob who is autistic and a few others she calls friends from her school. "D" did 2 years of public school at Lily B Clayton before we sent her to a private school for special needs kids. She was popular enough there at Lily B to be remembered 4 years after leaving that school. (This is something that pisses Scooter off so much she throws a huge fit if "D" has to go into her school for any reason, because older kids will remember Dakota and give her attention).

The little girl across the street we call Jade because she can Ja-Ja-Ja-Jade you in a heart beat, first came over to play with our girls about 4 years ago and she picked "D" as her favorite right away. She totally ignored lil' Scooter. Jade is in between Scout & Dakota’s ages and we were so upset at the way she treated Scooter that we didn't ask her back over or let our girls go over to her house for 3 years. Even when our girls would stalk her and run outside screaming "JADE!!!" whenever she and her mom left or pulled into their driveway, we stayed vigilant to our decision to cut her off from the Woody girls.

When we finally caved in and blessed Jade to once again enjoy our little girls presence and play with them, she migrated straight to Scooter. She now treats "D" like the plague and provokes our baby to poke at Dakota so much that we see Defcon 5's; about 2 per visit! So much so that Mrs. Clean and I have thought of reinstating the Jade ban! It's true "D" can have moments of peaceful (get along) play time with her little sis and other kids, but it almost always ends with a, "Mom- Dakota kicked me!" or "DAD- Dakota pushed Jade really hard and hurt her!" Oh... How my soul cringes when I hear that crap!

Today, JA-JA-JA-Jaded came over and I swear she wasn't her 2 frckn' seconds when I hear that crap and "D" is in crying Defcon 3 levels! Grrr! I try to get Dakota to come inside and play the Wii (every house should have one of those bad boys if they don't already) with me or just play by herself in her room:

"NO!" " I don't want to!"

I know she so desperately wants to be included in her sisters and JA-JA-JA-Jaded's play but It's not fare to lil' Scooter for us to force her sister on her and her friends.

It broke my heart today to see Dakota standing at the curb today yelling to her sister and JA-JA-JA-Jaded asking if she could come over and play, then when denied asking them to come back over to our yard. After I asked "D" to get away from the street and stop yelling at the neighbors, she decided it was Zen (the cheaper version of a Nano; damn you Santa!) time. I cursed GOD and Santa in one blog, pray for me!
So I find headphones and get her set up and watch her dance and sing in the front yard by her self. My heart is bleeding now and I am starting to curse GOD for her Autism! I don't want my baby to have to deal with this shit all her life. Part of that is my own selfish wishes; but it's also not wanting her to feel that way!
She enjoyed about 2 seconds of playtime with Jacob once his late ass momma got him here before the shit hit the fan. Then it was a night of Defcon 4 & 5's! So many that I gave up on the super bowl in the second quarter so don’t expect any great Sports blogness on the game. I am powerless over my daughter’s feelings even though I give it my best and fight like hell to protect her from the pain and loneliness! It's my yob man! I’m her Daddy!

Talen Show & Lily B Program

2009-01-30T14:41:00.000-08:00

“D” was awesome singing “What Time is it” from High School Musical with her BFF “Jacob”. They were so cute and Jacob was really into it with his dance moves. “D” had some moves too, swirling around and the singing was just great! The show went well and after “D” & “Jacob” performed, she was ready to go… So we made it to “Lil Scooter’s” program at Lily B. !

Scout is the little fish and she knew all the words to like 6 songs and did all the moves. There was a story line that went with the songs and it was a joy to see. She was surprised at the end of the program when I ran up to the stage to take some pictures. We had to split with momma going to Scooter’s program and me going to Dakota’s show.Note for sister, aunts, and moms: I promise to give better notice for the next programs!

DEFCON 5 ALERT

2009-01-27T14:40:00.000-08:00

I get calls from my wife from time to time and as soon as I pick up the phone, I already know why she is calling. I can hear our daughter “D” in the back ground screaming and crying. I know we have a DEFCON 5 in full swing at la casa! I am at work or in my car driving and the overwhelming feeling of helplessness washes over me like a typhoon. I know why mom is calling me, she is helpless and distraught there wishing she had back up to roll in with a fire hose and put the fire out. Only problem there, I am at work, not at la casa. This frustrates me more than a Monday morning greeting from Mr. Big Hands! But I am powerless and any attempt at talking “D” down from the ledge is hopeless! My frustrations only amplify over the phone to the Misses and she winds up saying “REALLY!” (I worked for years getting the word “Whatever replace by “REALLY”; so it is used in our house often). Then I hear the BUZZ! She hung up on me again! Well… that went well. I wish I could free all DEFCON 5’s from “D”. I wish I had the wisdom to comfort my wife when she calls during a DEFCON 5. It’s like a CD skipping (notice how that doesn’t have the same meaning as a broken record skipping?) Technology is not always term correct. Even when I am present at la casa during a DEFCON 5, I am powerless. There’s no getting it to Level 0 until “D” decides she is done. Something switches in her brain and she comes out of it like it never happened. I remember when the role playing would work and her mother and I would start “meowing” to her right in the middle of a meltdown. She would nuzzle us like a kitty and POOF! No more meltdown. Now day’s if we try this, we get an evil HISS! back at us and we are wondering which exit is closest and most likely free us from the pissed off tiger that is perched and ready to pounce on us. Ahh… I love Autism! Drive safe and steer clear of me, I’m driving momma’s car and she no like a da dings in her car!

Gratitude for My Dakota Has Autism

2009-01-24T08:55:00.000-08:00

She talks.
“D” does approach her mother and me for hugs and kisses sometimes on her time.
Last night she expressed a comment about love: “D” was upset with her Aunt MB who is due to deliver my new nephew in two weeks because she thought MB would love her new baby more than her. WOW! Of course she expressed her thoughts in her own way. However once I had her alone in the car, I asked her what she meant when she blurted out to Aunt MB, “I know what it’s going to be like when you have your baby!” “You’re only going to love4 him!” “MB” has an awesome response; “Dakota, Connor looking forward to meeting you (his cousin) once he gets here and I know you are going to love him.” So I ask her in the car what she meant. “D” told me she wanted MB to love her as much as she would love her new born baby. I tried my best to explain to her that MB would not stop loving her just because she had a baby, but I think MB had a much better response.

BUT…“D” had expressed her feelings which is progress in my book!

My Dakota is all loving to animals and her love for these critters makes me a better man.
She can laugh like the dickens when she gets on a roll.
She behaves awesome with her grandparents (All 60 of them).
She is good at math so she might be a banker someday and earn one of that corporate salary’s we are paying with the bail out.
She sings like an Angel.
She likes to snuggle in the mornings.
She tries so hard to function in our world even though she’s different from most of us.
“D” is beautiful.
Everyone in a while Dakota can be a good big sister to lil Scooter.
She makes me happy.
She’s my first baby girl.
God put her in our lives for a reason. (Waiting for that burning bush are ya?)
She calls me daddy!
She calls her mom “Mom”!
She calls for both of us when she has a bad dream.
She sounds like a stampede of buffalo when she runs from her bed to our bed at 3am. (Apparently we have ghost living in our hall; lil Scooter is the stealth bomber and I just sense something in my sleep, open my eyes and she is right there in my face staring at me.)
She loves going to church with her Grandma! (My mom #34 or is #2?)
She has a loving sole even though it doesn’t always show with her words or actions.
We are all blessed to have such a beautiful, loving, functioning girl like Dakota in our lives!

Superdad on Saturday Morning

2009-01-17T11:35:00.000-08:00

Dakota has no concept of time. Therefore she has no patience. So you add a child with:
+ no patience
+ anger issues
+ never ending hunger thoughts (you have no idea what I mean when I say never ending) of eating
+ severe mood swings
+ social deficiencies

_________________
= One pissed off Dakota …

you really need to insert nasty hateful words like: “ I hate you!” or “ You are
the worst dad in the Universe!” a little foot stomping, some huffing &
puffing, non-stop crying, and angry pacing like a tiger hunting a gazelle to get
the full effect. "DEFCON 5"

“D” is supposed to go to her BFF Jacobs house today for a sleep over. Jacobs’ mom (Dee Dee) has a slight problem with being on time anywhere; any occasion. (No bullshit, she is late 100% of the time) “D” is very agitated because Jacobs’ mom was not here to pick her up when she woke up at 7am. (Go figure) So she switches to the eating thing. She had a bowl of cereal at 7am. I know this because I left the kitchen door unlocked when I went to bed early this morning (3am). I had to force myself out of bed to make sure we had some groceries left for the weekend.

Yes she could possibly eat everything in our pantry, fridge, and freezer.

Plus there’s the clumsy thing, so “D” could spill a gallon of milk on the floor trying to pour it into the cereal bowl. Then I would have to try and clean it up to "Mrs. Cleans" standards. (My OCD wife) So I make it to the kitchen just in time to pour the milk for “D”. I lock the kitchen door after I put the cereal and milk back up because “D” is already at the table eating her cookie crisp. (Don’t worry it is fake cookie crisp made with fiber, victims, and other healthy shit; not like the sugar rich cookie crisp from my day). “D” does manage to spill some milk on the floor below the table, but "Mrs. Clean" doesn’t know about that, so keep it on the down low… All I want to do at 7am is get some coffee in me and watch the documentary, “ Inside the Taliban” that I had to TVO at 3am because I was watching the documentary “ 200 Years of the KKK” or something about the KKK, it’s 3am…remember! “D” goes back to bed after her cereal and "lil’ Scooter" is hogging the 1980 model home computer.

(Our computer is so slow and virus infested it can give you a clod if you walk
past it)

"Mrs. Clean" wakes up in a chipper mood around 9m. (Thank you Jesus for the chipper mood this morning) She makes 2 of the smallest pancakes I have ever seen in my life, so it’s the healthy cookie crisp for me. “D” wakes up HUNGRY and PISSED OFF because Dee Dee (Jacobs’ late ass mom) isn’t waiting in the living room ready to whisk her away to fun time.

(Fun time for “D” is anything away from our dungeon us
torture house)

I give “D” a small piece of Swiss cheese. Clearly not enough to fill her up, but I am concerned about her weight. Whimper!…wine!…yell!…scream! “D” is reaching DEFCON 4. (DEFCON 5 is top level with full melt down) It can take a full day to clean up all the fallout after DEFCON 5. “D” is very restless and decides to take it out on "lil’ Scooter" for awhile. “D-A-D-D-EEEE!” Up-Up-and- Away, its Superdad to the rescue! I tell “D” she has lost the sleep over and must earn it back with good behavior. (Not a unreasonable request, right?) “SIREN” starts to wale! We are in serious danger of reaching DEFCON 5 lickedy split! I walk away.

(Walking away is Superdads best Super-power)

Minutes later, “Oh Shit” someone left the kitchen door open! (oh yeah, it was me) Dammit! Shit its only noon and I am exhausted. The battle has only began… Come on Dee Dee get your ass here and take her!!!

Important notes to avoid DEFCON 5:
1. Water is evil. Do not suggest it for a shower or drinking!

2. Never ever have the food channel on if your hungry child is close to your home.

3. You may need more than 2 locks for the kitchen door.

4. Don’t forget to lock the kitchen door each and every 3,000 times you need to gain access and exit the kitchen in one day.

5. Belts have no effect on children born between 1969 and 2020. (They were once a great tool for discipline, but they only give these modern day rug-rats the right to call CPS)

6. If CPS knocks on your door, try to provoke an immediate DEFCON 5. If they witness DEFCON 5, you will be acquitted immediately.

7. Never try to blog during a DEFCON 3 to 5.

8. If you have a “MRS. Clean” or “Mr. Clean” in your house, just let her bitch while she/he is cleaning. This helps her/him clean faster.

9. When an autistic child apologizes for there behavior, accept it with a loving smile. (No words are needed)

10. When an autistic child attempts to hug you, hug loosely and release immediately. They only like to be held tight when they are in a blanket wrapped up like a burrito.

Somebody please call Dee Dee... (Wait, that only prolongs her tardiness) "NEVERMIND"

To be continued…

What is autism?

2009-01-16T14:54:00.000-08:00

What is autism?

Autism is a complex neurobiological development disorder that lasts throughout a person's lifetime. Because persons with autism exhibit different symptoms or behaviors, ranging from mild to serious, autism is a "spectrum" disorder, or a group of disorders with a range of similar features.
What the hell does that mean?

If you are like “The real rain man” it means you are a walking breathing
Wikipedia, hell you are way better than Wikipedia and Webster put together.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Peek

If you are like “Stephen Wiltshire” it means you can draw cities and shit you see 1 time by memory.

http://www.stephenwiltshire.co.uk/

So that leads us to what is a “spectrum”?

A spectrum (plural spectra or spectrums[1]) is a condition that is not limited to a specific set of values but can vary infinitely within a continuum.

Now a spectrum leads us to a continuum???

The term the continuum sometimes denotes the real line. Somewhat more generally a continuum is a linearly ordered set of more than one element that is "densely ordered", i.e., between any two members there is another, and it lacks gaps in the sense that every non-empty subset with an upper bound has a least upper bound.

If you’re a layman like me, you were lost back on complex neurobiological. It all sounds like the shit I slept through in high school.

So let’s see what Aspergers is:

Asperger syndrome (also called Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's disorder, Asperger's or AS) is an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), and people with AS therefore show difficulties in social interaction and restricted, stereotyped patterns of behavior and interests. AS differs from other ASDs by its relative preservation of linguistic and cognitive development. Although not mentioned in standard diagnostic criteria, physical clumsiness and atypical use of language are frequently reported.[1][2]
Asperger syndrome is named after Austrian pediatrician Hans Asperger who, in 1944, described children in his practice who lacked nonverbal communication skills, demonstrated limited empathy with their peers, and were physically clumsy.[3] Fifty years later, AS was standardized as a diagnosis, but questions about many aspects remain.[4] For example, there is lingering doubt about the distinction between AS and high-functioning autism (HFA);[5] partly due to this, the prevalence of AS is not firmly established. The exact cause is unknown, although research supports the likelihood of a genetic basis; brain imaging techniques have not identified a clear common pathology.[1]
There is no single treatment for Asperger syndrome, and the effectiveness of particular interventions is supported by only limited data.[1] Intervention is aimed at improving symptoms and function. The mainstay of management is behavioral therapy, focusing on specific deficits to address poor communication skills, obsessive or repetitive routines, and physical clumsiness.[6] Most individuals with AS can improve over time, but difficulties with communication, social adjustment and independent living continue into adulthood.[4] Some researchers and people with AS have advocated a shift in attitudes toward the view that AS is a difference, rather than a disability that must be treated or cured.[7]

Now we are getting somewhere… Thank you Hans for figuring this shit out 50 years ago! Limited empathy, clumsiness, and difficulties in social interaction.

Sounds like my Dakota; like when she fell off the bed at 4 yrs. old and her arm snapped backwards and she didn’t even let out a whimper or cry, but if her tiny little sister hits her she can burst out into tears that break your heart into a million pieces. Once at our Albertsons (no we don’t won an Albertsons’ grocery store, we just call it that because we spend ¼ of our income there. The rest goes to TEGRAT; -read it backwards) Dakota was still very small and AJ had her in the shopping buggy going down the aisles. A little old lady bumped my wife’s shopping cart, so Dakota blurts out “B-I-T-C-H”! My wife must have thought Dakota had turrets syndrome. But you have to laugh at that kind of situation unless you are the "little old bitch lady". How dare she bump our basket? Who knows why “D” said that right at that moment. Or when “D” gets frustrated when playing with her sister and she just kicks her in her head. We punish “D” for hurting her sister with some Magic 1-2-3 (dhaaattts ah O-N-E, dhaaattts ah T-W-O) and ask her to apologize to her sister. “I’m sorry Scout”, but this doesn’t mean I’m sorry to “D” because she doesn’t have an understanding of I’m sorry. Limited empathy right!?! How about hygiene? ……………………………..no can’t even go there now. I asked Dakota what it felt like to be autistic. Her response was, “I’m different”. How are you different? “I don’t know”. LOL… You can’t tell by looking at Dakota unless you sit still and watch her for some time to pick up on the little differences.
Dakota is a joy at times. Dakota is hard to live with at times. Sometimes she needs a padded cell. Sometimes her mother and I need a padded cell. But Dakota is our daughter and we love her just the way she is! The next time you’re at the grocery store our you’re standing in line to check out at Tegrat (guess what spell check tries to replace tegrat with?) and the kid in the next isle is raising all kinds of hell because his mom/dad won’t give in to the "lil bastards" candy request. Think a minute before you roll your eyes and sigh… think about what it’s like to be autistic or be a parent to an autistic child. Think hard and keep your fucking eye rolling, sighing, groaning, bullshit comments to yourself!

My Dakota is Autistic

2009-01-15T12:09:00.000-08:00

Cloe, Dakota, & Jacob

Expanded Bloggness on Autism

I am adding a new blog about autism to amuse myself. The comic relief you find here is real and honest stuff. It is a form of therapy for me as is my Sobriety blog.

Baby Dakota
Our daughter Dakota was born may 5th, 1999. A glorious day for her mom and I. she was a normal baby infant like most unless you think it different for a baby to NOT want to be held, NOT cry when she is hungry, NOT stay up all night fussing, and sleep all day. My wife would call me the first week home with baby Dakota with all these questions, “she doesn’t move or cry; do you think she is ok?” Me: “baby that is awesome!” “Enjoy the silence now for it will not remain”. Question: “She won’t eat, what’s wrong with her?” (I suggest she consult the expert on this one) Me: “Baby call the doctor and see what he thinks?” My 1st born from that previous marriage with that evil monster was always crying and screaming and raising hell! Doctor: “Mrs. Woody, she will eat when she is hungry.” We enjoyed the peace of our new baby girl and I thought fatherhood had obviously changed since my boy was born in 1990. I could defiantly handle my new job and even entertained the thought of more children. Dakota mature into toddler-hood as a normal baby might progress; goo-gooing, ga-gaaing, and crawling all over our huge new duplex. When she began to walk, we began to notice little things that did not seem to fit. Looking back it’s hard to remember the little things that said, hey something’s different with this one because that was the happiest time we have had with Dakota.

Toddler Dakota
We purchased our 1st home and left our 3000 sq foot duplex to live in 980’ sq foot of “Our Home”.
At 2 yrs old we contacted our pediatrician and asked for help. Her anger seemed to be unprovoked and unmanageable. And it was all day and all night with these anger fits. She could not express to us why she was angry and that only frustrated her more. The pediatrician gave us his best spill on spoiled toddlers and suggested that “I” the dad use the bear hug method to control little Dakota in these fits of rage. I tried not to laugh right then and keep a straight face as I asked the doc to show me the proper bear hug technique. (I had tried this same technique because it was suggested in one or more of the 2,000 books we had read about raising kids with the result of a broken nose from a vicious head but) When the doc tried to show me this great bear hug method, he let go of Dakota and real fricken quick and referred us to a child physciatrist. Onward we went, shrink after shrink we tried every known medication, parenting guides, hospital stay after stay. At Cooks Children’s hospital we were taught the Magic 1-2-3 method. It’s so simple, when your child does something unacceptable you just say, “ That’s-O-N-E!”; if they comply you stop if not, “That’s-T-W-O!” if they comply, stop if not, “That’s-T-H-R-E-E!! Now they must understand how serious you are and comply to your magic at once. Right…LOL then begins the hell of taking your child to time out! I would like to beat the crap out of the (“Timeout Inventor”) but that’s another story. Dakota complied in the hospital with a magic ONE, sometime magic TWO for the staff and eventually her mom and I.

I remember the guy who taught us was this big muscled up fellow with a very
thick hick accent. And to this day I can hear him say, Nowwww Da-k-O-ta',
dhattt s ahh O-NNN-EEE, ah dhaaats ahh T-OOOOO & ahh dhatts ahh
T-R-EEEEE!!!

As soon as we returned her to our home (which she constantly reminds us how much she hates) the magic stopped being so magical and the battles raged on. What has happened to good old stern discipline (spanking)? I was spanked and I stopped doing what I was not supposed to be doing in a heartbeat. All my mom had to say was,

Wait till your daddy gets home and I tell him what you did!

Shit man that put the fear of all fears in my little ass and I straightened up real fast! I would be so nice to my mom for the rest of the day and love on her until maybe she just might change her mind about telling the

ENFORCER

my wrong doings. (Only worked occasionally) But guess what, spanking my Dakota doesn’t work. Her autistic mind doesn’t process its meaning or purpose. She only sees this as her mom or dad not loving her. We have tried charts, colored cans, reward chest, talking, yelling, screaming, crying, ignoring, snuggling, role playing, shit you name it we have tried it or will try it. Dakota is autistic and we can’t change her. There have been so many stories from toddler to present day that it would take me years to post. So we shall warp speed to the present…. (Now that’s fucking magic)

Dakota Today
My OCD wife has a daily routine, who am I kidding she has 1,000 daily routines. This one in particular is the girl’s next day clothing selecting and hanging on the designated hooks in the hall thing. (This is done the night before) She must pick the next day’s clothes out the night before and seek their approval. (Their approval is important and you will know why later) The girls always instantly approve even though they don’t look at the clothes mom has selected. So the clothes are hanging on the designated hooks and this routine is checked off “THE LIST”. ……………………………………………………………………………………………….
The next morning as the Woody’s are franticly rushing through their morning activities and preparing to super launch out the front door I notice Dakota has completely changed her outfit and is trying to put Scout’s leggings on (if you know the Woody girls you know that Dakota is a big girl for 9 and Scout is a tiny girl for 7). I can’t help but laugh as hard as I can that early in the morning. Scout is still in our bed asleep, AJ (the OCD one) is telling Dakota in her normal voice (which sounds like yelling to non-Woody’s) that there is no way those leggings are going to fit because they are her little sisters. Dakota replies with her best, “Ohh…. I didn’t know”. Are you laughing with me yet… no well hold on it gets better… Dakota finds her leggings and attempts to put them on. Meanwhile I am trying to super dash out the front door to get to work on time and Aj is beginning to yell at both Dakota and Scout (which sounds like screaming to non-Woody’s) get ready, brush your teeth, brush your hair, get dressed, ha ha ha ha you have be laughing by now…………………………………………………………………………… Lil Scooter
Somehow they make it to school on time 99.9% of the time each week. Dakota does this every morning and it never varies except for the once a month total melt down crisis which is usually followed that afternoon with Dakota getting home and going straight to sleep wherever she falls. If Dakota has a great day at school and gets all 26 checks then we know that it’s gona be hell at home that afternoon into the night. We don’t know why this is this way, it just is. I’ll get into more tomorrow. If you know someone with autism, don’t hug them today because they usually don’t care for hugs. Just wave at them and avoid eye contact.